English Communication:  How’s It Going? The Why Tells You the How

“How’s it going?” “How are you?”

These phrases can drive international people crazy in the U.S.

That’s because in their home country, if people say, “How are you?”, they really do want to know how you are doing or what is happening in your life.

In the U.S., this can be ritual greeting.  “How are you?” could be acknowledging the other person., the same as “Hi.”   How do you know the intention is acknowledgement only? No opportunity for any response.

But for the best communicatrs, the other’s response to the greeting ritual tells mountains. Observation, listening and looking, are the key. Tone of voice and body language reveal.  35% of a person’s impression of you comes from your tone of voice.   55% of impression comes from body language.

Based on your perception of the other’s well being, you can make judgment about what to communicate or how much to request.

The best communicators mirror the other person. Communication mismatch between exuberance and grief-stricken sparks pain. We live in Covid time. According to lawyer data, there’s rise in relationship breakups.

Mirroring is matching the demeanor of the other person.  Match the positioning of arms and legs and the same level of energy and loudness . Lean into the talker.  You will see mental and emotional state if you care to.

Empathy and connection are golden.  Reflect to adjust your communication to the other’s state of well-being.

See our 1-3 minute Youtube clear English speech tutorials  English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos.

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