Speech Tips
English Communication Skill: Up Your Listening Game
English Communication Skill: Up Your Listening Game
Communication is connecting with people, and connecting with people is relationship. Half the story is listening.
Do you want to be a better listener.. or gasp!… an over the top listener? Do you want other persons to know you are truly in the same space with them?
Here’s two techniques, easy and immediate.
First, clear away the clutter–. noise clutter, desk clutter, even mind clutter.
What to do?
- Don’t just mute devices, turn them off– phone, streaming device or TV.
- Something else on your mind? Write it down before you enter a conversation. Your note’s the reminder, so no worry about forgetting to get to this issue– and your mind is free to focus on the rest of the conversation.
- Clear your desk of whatever is between you and the speaker – so you concentrate on the speaker’s message.
- Can’t turn phone off, then don’t accept phone calls or view texts. Such Interruptions makes the person in the room feel unimportant and makes what you have to say seem unimportant.
Second, count to three. Couldn’t be simpler– to enable you to listen more effectively, just count to three before you speak. This slight delay enables you to absorb and understand the last statement before you respond. Three seconds to absorb the message and give the other person one last chance to modify the statement or question. Even if your response is that you must consult with your client, spouse, or boss, pausing for three seconds helps you better understand and remember what the other person said.
Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercise.
Want People to Talk in Virtual Meetings?
Want people to talk in virtual meetings?
How to ask for ideas or feedback during a virtual meeting that gets valuable answers—and not only from the usual talkative people? Face it- virtual meetings are here to stay. Because “keep it simple” is a great mantra, this blog will include “chat” but will not discuss, Q&A, breakout rooms, reaction icons, virtual whiteboards and the range of apps which can facilitate getting more information from people.* But here are quick and easy ways to get people to speak up in virtual meetings and face-to-face meetings — or hybrid meetings with some persons face-to-face and others coming in on Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Skype.
- Distribute your Questions beforehand. If asking people for insight. it’s only nice and fair to give them enough time –as much time as possible–to think about the problem. Email all participant no more than 5 questions you will be asking.
- Insert those questions in the meeting agenda and calendar so all know what’s coming and can prepare.
Notably, if invited to a meeting without an agenda, it’s good virtual meeting etiquette to ask for one since time is the most precious resource. Also ask for any pre-reading or “pre-work” participants can do to be ready.
- Get rules that encourage participation. Easy it is for an idea-getting session to careen off course when people confuse developing ideas with debating the pros and cons. Many will refuse to raise a virtual or real-life hand if they think their response will get shot down. How to fix? State the purpose of the meeting with a statement, “This meeting’s purpose is only to collect ideas and build on them if we can. In the next meeting, we’ll assess them and pick our favorites,”
To keep balanced speaking time, communicate boundaries like “We’re limited to one hour, so keep your contributions brief to give everyone time to speak—one to three minutes is ideal.
Keep things moving forward by recommending long-running conversations be continued offline or by phone call after the meeting.
- Start with easy questions and poll: “If you agree with choice 1, raise your left hand or click in choice 1 in the chat box, if choice 2—right hand, if both choices are equally agreeable to you, raise both hands or click in both choice 1 and 2 in the chat box.
For simple feedback, “Share one thing you learned from last week’s event” — or “this week’s meeting”—share verbally or put in the chat box. Understand that many people feel more comfortable typing than talking, so chat can elicit ideas that might be lost.
The key to polling is ask for one short and specific contribution, versus a general question like “What do you think about that?” or “What questions are in your mind?”
Once you’ve received answers to brief polling via gestures, brief vocal response or chat, the next step to encourage ideas or feedback is:
- Follow Up on Those Questions Now that you’ve broken the ice of discomfort by doing an easy first request, many people feel comfortable offering ideas and –notably with your help—can now elaborate on those ideas.
“William, can you unmute and tell us why you chose number 1?”
“Jenny, you called the product creative and innovative. Could you unmute and share why?”
”Eduardo, you shared how your team became more efficient. Unmute and share examples, OK”
Even those unlikely to verbally respond, when they have already responded to a poll by gesture or chat ,find it’s easier to speak a contribution.
Effective also to encourage discussion on the topic is to ask for agreement: ”Raise your hand or Type 1 in chat if you agree with Olga or to suggest another descriptor for the product.”
Final watchwords are to call people by name and repeat their communication.That’s proof positive that you value the team ideas and increase comfort to verbal participation.
*For these, google Joel Schwartzberg Virtual Meeting Tips.
How to ask for a date
How to ask for a date?
Getting started is the hardest.
People who speak English as a second language often ask about colloquial or typical prases for asking a person out for a date. They want the general North American pattern of that conversation, In the United States, males can ask and females can ask.
Warmup Question
“How are you?”
“How’s it going?”
Rationale: The answer tells whether to proceed forward. Tone of voice and body language may indicate that the other person is going through a very hard time, say, an accident or death in the family. Such a circumstance is not a good time to ask for a date.
Ask about Schedule
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Do you have any plans on (day of the week)?”
Rationale: If the person has another commitment or is exhausted, then regroup on your plan for when to do this date.
Mention Activity
“There’s this cool (activity idea) coming up.”
“I’ve been meaning to check out (activity idea)”
Rationale: The appeal of the activity idea might be enough to persuade the other person that going out with you is a great idea!
Ask for agreement to date or activity
“Do you want to go out?”
“Do you want to (activity idea)?”
Rationale: Be direct and to the point even if feeling shy or uncertain about the other person’s answer. If you are not, then the other person may not even know that she/he has been asked out.
Compliment
“You’re just fun to hang out with.”
“You’re just so interesting.”
Rationale: Compliments help other persons know what is their appeal to you.
Advancing the idea or giving an encouraging description
“It’ll be a lot of fun.”
“The weather’s going to be great.”
“I’ve heard (activity idea) is awesome.”
Rationale: Focusing on the activity and the pleasure eases some of the uncertainty and pressure on the other person to say yes.
Retreat or allowing for space to decide
“Just thought I’d put it out there.”
“Only if it sounds like fun.”
“No pressure.”
“Figured it was worth asking.”
Rationale: Notice the body language to determine whether they are indecisive and not sure. Take the pressure off to make it easier for them to agree to go out with you, or not go out with you, on this occasion. Also taking the pressure off doesn’t lock them into never going out with you. For example, if you suggest ice skating, they could turn you down because they don’t know how to ice skate.
Once you have the basic phrases engrained in your mind (memorized), combine for what fits your circumstance.
To be redundant, observe body language to interpret the other’s response to doing a date or activity with you. With that, you could proceed with enthusiasm in the form of advancing the idea or giving an encouraging description. Or you could decide to go with a bit of humbleness in the form of a retreat. Both are follow-up phrases which give the other person time and space to decide if she or he wants to go out or do an activity with you.
If rejection comes because of the activity, ask the other person what activity she/he would feel comfortable or excited about.
Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercises.
Take Detached Look at Your Comfort Zone for Interaction
Take a Detached Look at your Comfort Zone for Interacting with Others.
Taking a detached look at your comfort zone for people interaction can be unsettling, but it reveals a characteristic which you can choose to accept or change.
–Are you comfortable or at ease making conversation with someone you don’t know at a meeting, convention or conference?
—Do you avoid making eye contact with people in hallways, elevators and airplanes?
—Can you respond easily when someone tries to include you in a conversation?
Key words here are “making conversation,” ” eye contact,” and “easy response when someone tries to include you in a conversation” Therein lies the steps toward expanding your comfort zone for interaction.
Keep in Touch
Keep in Touch The Power of Staying in Touch… and Reconnecting
You ever get “Keep in touch” line at the end of a note, written or email?Great power is in staying in touch and reconnecting. Think about your relationships, past and present which are likely more vast than your initial thought. Relationships are like a garden, they need tending. Cultivate your relationships, your network, for growth, action, and interaction.
Staying in touch with people is like the little drops of water that make the trees grow and blossom. (Don’t know how to initiate? — “Been thinking about you.” “We haven’t communicated in a while. Do you have a few minutes to chat by phone in the next few days or week?”)
